Middle School

NY, USA

(The teacher is explaining why he will not write the n-word on the board.)

Teacher:  “And if you haven’t noticed yet, I’m a white dude.”

High School

Cumming, GA, USA

I am in a junior level math class, and my teacher is an older woman. Often she would tell us something strange or incorrect.

Teacher: Two ducks plus two monkeys is six.

Students: ….

Teacher: It is impossible to divide 2x+4y by 2.

I asked to be transferred out of her class, but our school wouldn’t allow it

High School

Houston, TX, USA

(This event happens in history class discussing the Korean War. The teacher is known for amusing analogies and the student is known for not being the brightest. The current analogy is about American Football)

Teacher: …. Then suddenly, 300,000 Chinese came out of the end zone.

Student: Wait Mr. (teacher) where did all of the Chinese come from?

Secondary School

England

(I’m in year 10, and we’re in a philosophy class. Our teacher has a bit of a reputation for being a smartass at times. He tells us to write some differences between men and women as a starter excercise, ‘aside from the obvious’.)

Student: Sir, what’s the obvious?

Teacher: You know.

Student: No, sir, I’m confused.

Teacher: Come on. You know what I’m referring to.

Student: Well, if you’d just say it…

Teacher: (literally yelling) PENIS!

(Nobody really bothered him with silly questions for the rest of the day!)

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