High School

Ontario, Canada

(We are having our gym class in the workout room. After spending half of the period doing various exercises, my friend and I, both quite out of shape, are exhausted. We are sitting on a bench talking when the gym teacher walks over to us)

Teacher: Might I ask why you two aren’t doing any exercises right now?

Me: We ARE, though. We’re doing Jack Squats.

(The teacher left us alone so he could stop laughing. We weren’t bothered after that.)

Retail

Toronto, ON, CA

My sister works at a hardware store that has recently hired a new employee who works part-time and is still in high school. One day, my sister is talking to the new employee.

Sister: So which school do you go to?

Co-worker: I go to [high school].

Sister: Cool. Are there any cute boys at your school?

Co-worker: No. Most of them are filipinos. We only have like, five white boys at my school.

Sister: *is speechless*

Middle School

USA

(It’s 2008 and I’m in middle school. I’ve always had trouble with math and I’ve always been a rather average student but my twin brother always he’s A’s and is in all honors classes. He has one teacher that is infamous for being mean and strict and insulting students but the teacher loves my brother. Since I am bad at math, I have a class called learning zone which is a class for kids that have trouble in certain subjects and there’s a teacher there to help us with homework and things. One day my teacher is away with one of her other classes on a field trip and we get a sub, and the sub that we get is the teacher that loves my brother but is infamous for insulting students and things. She doesn’t really understand how small learning zone is she just knows it’s for kids who need extra help, so when she walks in and sees that their are only four of us in the class, she doesn’t believe us when we say that no one is absent so she calls down to the office to make sure. Then when she gets our names and she finds out that my brother is my brother this is her reaction.) ( for the story’s sake let’s make my name Sally Doe and his name John Doe)

Teacher: “Sally DOE?” She turns around to me after hanging up the phone and says “Are you related to John Doe?” Me: Yes

Teacher: What are you doing in here? Your brother is so smart!

Me: (Stunned into silence)

Teacher: I mean it’s not possible that your stupid when your brother is so smart and this class is only for stupid people right?

Me: ( Still silent but looking around  at my other classmates in disbelief)

Teacher: So are you stupid?

Me: …. No? (Keep in mind I’m twelve at the time and what twelve know how to respond to a teacher calling them stupid.?) ( This kind of barrage of insults continues, Then she looks at the class roll that wrote down again and realized one of my classmates older sisters was also in her honors class so she directs the same barrage of insults at her while the other two look on not sure of what to do. So the teacher keeps switching back and forth between insulting both of us until the end of the class and she has stopped by the time our teacher gets back. She sees our teacher and realizes that she had both my teacher and my teachers older brother in her class and the brother was better at school than she was so this happened.

Mean Teacher to my teacher: I had you in class! Your brother was much better than you! Were you stupid or just lazy?

My teacher: … Neither?

( The mean teacher leaves and we proceed to tell our teacher what happened and our teacher reports her. I’d like to say she got fired but even though she kept receiving complaints she kept working in my old middle school until I was in eleventh grade when she switched to my high school. Luckily she was only there to teach sophomores. So I never had her as a teacher. Poor sophomores (It’s 2008 and I’m in middle school. I’ve always had trouble with math and I’ve always been a rather average student but my twin brother always he’s A’s and is in all honors classes. He has one teacher that is infamous for being mean and strict and insulting students but the teacher loves my brother. Since I am bad at math, I have a class called learning zone which is a class for kids that have trouble in certain subjects and there’s a teacher there to help us with homework and things. One day my teacher is away with one of her other classes on a field trip and we get a sub, and the sub that we get is the teacher that loves my brother but is infamous for insulting students and things. She doesn’t really understand how small learning zone is she just knows it’s for kids who need extra help, so when she walks in and sees that their are only four of us in the class, she doesn’t believe us when we say that no one is absent so she calls down to the office to make sure. Then when she gets our names and she finds out that my brother is my brother this is her reaction.) ( for the story’s sake let’s make my name Sally Doe and his name John Doe)

Teacher: “Sally DOE?” She turns around to me after hanging up the phone and says “Are you related to John Doe?” Me: Yes

Teacher: What are you doing in here? Your brother is so smart!

Me: (Stunned into silence)

Teacher: I mean it’s not possible that your stupid when your brother is so smart and this class is only for stupid people right?

Me: ( Still silent but looking around  at my other classmates in disbelief)

Teacher: So are you stupid?

Me: …. No? (Keep in mind I’m twelve at the time and what twelve know how to respond to a teacher calling them stupid.?) ( This kind of barrage of insults continues, Then she looks at the class roll that wrote down again and realized one of my classmates older sisters was also in her honors class so she directs the same barrage of insults at her while the other two look on not sure of what to do. So the teacher keeps switching back and forth between insulting both of us until the end of the class and she has stopped by the time our teacher gets back. She sees our teacher and realizes that she had both my teacher and my teachers older brother in her class and the brother was better at school than she was so this happened.

Mean Teacher to my teacher: I had you in class! Your brother was much better than you! Were you stupid or just lazy?

My teacher: … Neither?

( The mean teacher leaves and we proceed to tell our teacher what happened and our teacher reports her. I’d like to say she got fired but even though she kept receiving complaints she kept working in my old middle school until I was in eleventh grade when she switched to my high school. Luckily she was only there to teach sophomores. So I never had her as a teacher. Poor sophomores.

Elementary School

Colorado

(My school had very strict playground rules. They were fairly stupid. We weren’t allowed to throw snowballs, but it was snowy and me and my friends were having a snowball fight.)

Aid: Hey (my friends)! Get over here! You can’t throw snow!

(We trudge over.)

Aid: Why were you throwing snow? That is clearly against the rules! What happens on the ground stays on the ground!

Friend #1: Snickers.

Aid: Is something funny?

Friend #1: No, ma’am.

Aid: Good. You may go.

Friend #1: Throws snowball at aid.

Aid: Will (me) and (friend #1) please go get the ball? It’s by the kindergartners.

Friend #1: Worth it.

High School

New York, NY, USA

(Field Trip To The Land Of Nod reminded me of this. Every other year our school’s journalism group takes a trip to NYC for a convention. Not everyone goes, but those who do take a one way flight from the west coast to NYC, and we land at 5 am Eastern Time. We get no time in the hotel, and hit the ground running. Our Adviser took us to Ellis Island, and all of us are dragging our feet at this point. Someone suggests we go watch a documentary in a theater they have, to which we all agree. When we walk in 5 of our students are already there.)

Tour Guide: You guys aren’t going to fall asleep this time, right?

Student: We’re sorry, we’ll all pay attention this time.

(Throughout the movie I catch myself literally nodding off. One of the times I wake up, the credits of the movie are rolling. I hear laughter to the side of me and look to see my teacher taking pictures with his phone. To might right, every single student on the trip is fast asleep. We got back at the teacher on the flight back by taking pictures of him when he dozed off.)

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