Secondary School

Telford, Shropshire, UK

(I am in Year 7 French Class. Our teacher is French but has been teaching in England for a couple of decades. She had a very effective way of dealing with unruly students.)

Student 1: You’re a f***ing gaybo

Student 2: You’re a gaybo!

Teacher: Oh, I understand you both are gay

(Both students pause. They act like this in every class but have never had a teacher react this way!)

Student 2: Umm no we’re just taking the mickey Student 1: Yeah, we’re not gay…

Teacher: No it is fine you are gay. You are gay boys. Please be quieter in my class though

(Both students promptly went crimson and shut right up! To this day I have endless admiration for the teacher who managed to control her students by pretending she couldn’t speak English!)

Middle School


It is the first day of school, and my friend has written his schedule on his hand. One girl sees the writing.

Girl: What are you cheating on?!

High School


We are working in groups of 4 during Spanish class, and my group had finished early.  We somehow start talking about middle names.  Note: We have all known each other fairly well for the past 4 years, and Student #2 is Indian.

Student #1: Hey, [Student #2], what’s your middle name?

Student #2: My middle name is the same as my father’s name because that’s what they do in India.

Student #1 and Me: Cool!

Student #3: Wait, is your middle name your father’s first name or last name?

Students #1 and #2 and Me: *stare at Student #3 in disbelief* Student #3: *realization dawns on him* Oh!

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