San Diego, CA, USA
I’m chatting with a 5th grader in the lunch line. I am currently in 4th, and am a notorious book addict. As I near the lunch lady, the entire football team cuts in front of me. I’ve been waiting for 15 minutes already, so I decide to request them to move.
Me: Excuse me, guys, I was there.
One of them sneers at me.
Bully 1: Get outta the line, ya f**!
Bully 2: What’s wrong, cant
wait to bury yer face in cartoon swimsuits?!
They all laugh. Our library has an extensive collection of manga, and I’ve been known to read them for hours on end.
Me: That’s not fair! Manga is fun and easy to read! Besides, at least I know how to make retorts that make sense.
Bully 1: You callin’ me a retard?
Me: (condescendingly) Retort: to respond, to make a comeback, to possess a brain.
Bully 1: TEACHER! THIS GUY CALLED ME A RETARD
Bully 1 and 2 proceed to shove me up against the wall.
Bully 2: Ya f***in f***er! I show ya what really counts!
They proceed to rough me up. The fifth grader tries to help, but the lunch lady stops him.
Lunch Lady: Let him fight his own battles! You don’t see anyone helpin’ them, do ya?
After a few minutes, a teacher arrives and proceeds to scold me for calling them retards, and forces me to apologize. Even after I explain what retort means, the teacher maintains that I insulted them, that I made up the word retort, and then gives me a detention for knowing how to spell f** and f***, even when I tell him that the bullies said it first. Two months later, my dad got a new job, and we moved away. I’ve never been so happy to move since!