Elementary School


(I am a teacher at a summer school, and I am with another teacher supervising lunch recess. Suddenly, a boy runs up to us.)

Student: “Teacher, teacher!”

Me: “Hey, what’s up?”

Student: (points to another student) “He went to the bathroom, and he just washed his hands. He didn’t actually go to the bathroom!”

(The other teacher and I exchange a look when we see he is serious.)

Me: “Um…sorry, but that’s not a big deal, [Student.]

Other Teacher: “Yeah, you can go back and play.”

(He does so. After a second, I turn to the other teacher…)

Me: “He did WHAT?! The HORROR!”

Middle school




(Boy in class always says that he never understands anything that we learn)

Boy: “I don’t get it.”

Boy: “I don’t get it!”

Teacher: “if I got five dollars for every time you say that, I’d be rich.”

Boy: “I don’t get it.”

Teacher:” 5, 10, 15, I’m gonna be rich!”

Secondary School


(I’m in year 10, and we’re in a philosophy class. Our teacher has a bit of a reputation for being a smartass at times. He tells us to write some differences between men and women as a starter excercise, ‘aside from the obvious’.)

Student: Sir, what’s the obvious?

Teacher: You know.

Student: No, sir, I’m confused.

Teacher: Come on. You know what I’m referring to.

Student: Well, if you’d just say it…

Teacher: (literally yelling) PENIS!

(Nobody really bothered him with silly questions for the rest of the day!)

<>div id="GASBTF">